Posts Tagged ‘Thoughts’

Sigh.

I came here with all intentions to write. All intentions to vent. All intentions to rant. Now I’m here… And I’m trying to process how I feel… the only thing that is coming out is *sigh*.

Sigh is able to express so much in such a simple gesture. It embodies what I feel now. How you make me feel. How you made me feel. How everything makes me feel.

Sigh

I’m realized that I’m quite afraid of my thoughts because when I start going… it doesn’t stop and the things my thoughts think up will make me think me and worry. I will create scenarios and outcomes from the most likely to the less possible. The ones that will destroy me to the ones that I wish would be. The ones I know is the case but I don’t want to accept to the ones I couldn’t even imagine wishing for.

Sigh.

Where did you come from? Where did it come from? Where does love come from? 

Sigh.

Everyone is looking. They all love what they see. Can’t you see they are looking at You? Open your eyes. Go and spread your wings and fly. Don’t let me be a cage. Fly free.

Sigh.

Why am I still Sighing?

Sigh.

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Back in July 2013, I hiked to the top of the volcano, La Soufrière, in St. Vincent standing at just 1,234 m.

Then in October 2015 & again in the same month in 2016, I hiked 2,256 m to the peak of the Blue Mountains in Jamaica.

These heights are both still quite small compared to that of Mount Everest, 8,848 m, which is the highest peak on earth. So here are a few questions. What does this have to do with anything? Who cares how high I’ve hiked? What difference does it make if I’ve hiked to the top of a 500 m hill or a mountain standing a whopping 7,000 m?

Well the answers to those questions are quite simple. This has everything to do with my life. I am the one who should care. It does not make a difference if the peak was 500 m or 7,000 m, as long as I made it through to the top.

La Soufrière and Blue Mountain were both physical feats for me. Small for some and mammoth for others. Regardless of what they mean for others I’ll share with you what it was for me.

In life we will face many obstacles and our own forms of mountains and they will all seem to come in our way preventing us from reaching our destination. But does a mountain really stop us from reaching or does it challenge us to do more than we had planned/expected? Mountains force us to go forward and to go up while maneuvering a rough terrain.

I believe our mountains are there to teach us lessons we need to learn for the journey ahead. I heard a really interesting twist on mountains the other day when watching a video on Youtube (can’t remember the video). The person in the video said that mountains will never be smooth because no one can climb a smooth mountain. I thought about it and it is true. If mountains were not rough, where would I place my foot to step up? Nowhere. I thought back to the times I hiked and there were parts of the trail that were smooth and sloping and I had to depend on the rough areas to get a grip to pass those parts.

The irony. While climbing my mountain and I come to smooth parts on my way up, I had to look for and depend on the rough parts to pass safely through. That made it clear for me to see that the rough parts are indeed important and needed to make it through. If we aren’t challenged to grow or to trust the process, will we make it through to the end?

Each time I hiked it was a new lesson for me. The first time in St. Vincent; it got colder as I went up and some parts seemed scary but I knew it would have been worth it to make it to the top and through it all I prayed and trusted the Lord to take me to the top safely, and He did. Blue Mountain took a lot more out of me to make it. The first time was the worse of the two, as I didn’t know how far till I reached the cabins, and then I didn’t know how far till I reached the peak. Not knowing, reminded me that in life as we get in a situation, we may not know how we’ll get through, how long it will take to make it, or what it would be like at the end. Trust that the hike up Blue Mountain was indeed a physical challenge; but one in which I made it through by the grace of God and trust in Him.

The real eye opener for me was the second time I hiked Blue Mountain in 2016. It was by far easier; it still ached my body after, but it was less stressful mentally. Why was it easier the 2nd time around? Was it that I had to walk a shorter distance or that the mountain somehow got shorter? Nope. None of those. It was because after making it through the first time, I kind of knew what to expect. I knew some of the answers to the questions I wondered about while hiking the first time. Now I had knowledge I didn’t have the first time. The first trip shaped me up for the 2nd.

So in life, when you are faced of a mountain of your own, trust God and depend on Him. Remember that it would be rough but He allows that for our safety, and for us to make it through how He wants us to. He never promised the road would be easy, but He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. Once you make it through, when you have to face a similar mountain, just recall that He was willing and able to take you through it before. And trust and believe He is still there to do the same again.

As we start any journey and we come to an obstacle, in this case a mountain, and we see the peak all the way up there, remember that the road will be rough but once you hold onto God you will make it to that peak. It is only at that point that you can look and see the beauty all around and where you have come from. You get a small taste seeing the beginning and the end. And that is just one obstacle. God can see the beginning and the end for us all. The 2nd time up Blue Mountain, I trusted in God to take me there safely. I was also able to trust the little knowledge I had of the journey from the first trip.

So here’s a couple questions for you… How much more can you trust the one who has all knowledge of every journey for all time? Will you trust the process and trust the one with the plan and the road map?

My mountains led me to a better understanding of my journey and life.

My mountains led me to trust in God a little more.

My God knows what’s best for me.

My mountains led me closer to Him.

I am thankful for my mountains.

 

BRB as I go hiking again. What will this mountain teach me?

Every dude wants to be some girl’s guy
Cherishing his queen, striving to make her happy
Bringing to reality that seen in a fairytale
THAT’S the chance you NEVER gave me

In a simple and sincere gesture
Where lips and tongue of two are paired
Only goal is to show affection
THAT’S the kiss we NEVER shared

They say you can’t kiss a girl unexpectedly
Should have done it when your head was in that book
That would’ve made an unforgettable memory
THAT’S the opportunity I NEVER took

I’ve always wanted you to be in my arms
Holding, embracing, supporting- I’d always try
I want to be there- for you, for me, for us
THAT’S the truth I’ll NEVER deny

Your smiles make me smile, happy, pissed, confused
With you my emotions show their true range
All that said, I still desire you because…
THAT’S you! Hope you’ll NEVER change

It’s true that we might always be just friends
But that may not be the case forever
There’s always that little bit of hope
THAT’S it! Nothing’s impossible!…

NEVER say NEVER!