Posts Tagged ‘love’

Hey…

So I haven’t posted anything for a while now. I don’t want to take credit for that but I will. Procrastination ain’t ever cute eh. 

So what’s new? Wellllllll…. I did alot of thinking yesterday and I have a business idea. Like no joke. I have to put it in writing and give it a deadline… if not it’ll just be a dream. I dream enough at night and I’m not getting any younger. So I have to go after these things now that I am still here and able. I can’t share the idea with you guys now… for obvious reasons lol lol. But stay tuned.

Recently I’ve been thinking about family and kids a lot. Not sure why. But I ready to have my family… a beautiful wife and about 3 kids. I love kids and they are so amazing. I used to think that the world is in such a state and it doesn’t make sense bringing kids into it… But hey…. if God will have it for me to have a family and kids… He’ll give me all that I need to provide and ensure they get all they require and equip me to be able to protect them. Not physically but ye. Well not necessarily physical.

I’m a photographer and I’ll be soooooo sorry for those kids…. kids are the best subjects to shoot. Babies are amazing and they don’t have a clue what’s happening lol lol… Well at least I don’t think they know lol. I love kids. I really do. 

And my wife to be… somewhere out there… I know you will be beautiful and amazing. You’ll have to put up with me and the camera too. I’m sorry. And we have some traveling to do.

I’d love to do a Eurotrip for my 30th or for my honeymoon… although I could do a Caribbean or Canadian honeymoon. Who knows. 

I have a lot of amazing people in my life that some times I think that they are far better to me than I could ever be to them. I’m going to be better. Not for you but for me… and therefore being better for everyone. Hope that makes sense.

Well anyways… I just rambled there… lunch is over so that’s enough from me for now.

Likle mo. 
PS. That’s just a random photo lol lol I’d love to be at the beach now.

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Sigh.

I came here with all intentions to write. All intentions to vent. All intentions to rant. Now I’m here… And I’m trying to process how I feel… the only thing that is coming out is *sigh*.

Sigh is able to express so much in such a simple gesture. It embodies what I feel now. How you make me feel. How you made me feel. How everything makes me feel.

Sigh

I’m realized that I’m quite afraid of my thoughts because when I start going… it doesn’t stop and the things my thoughts think up will make me think me and worry. I will create scenarios and outcomes from the most likely to the less possible. The ones that will destroy me to the ones that I wish would be. The ones I know is the case but I don’t want to accept to the ones I couldn’t even imagine wishing for.

Sigh.

Where did you come from? Where did it come from? Where does love come from? 

Sigh.

Everyone is looking. They all love what they see. Can’t you see they are looking at You? Open your eyes. Go and spread your wings and fly. Don’t let me be a cage. Fly free.

Sigh.

Why am I still Sighing?

Sigh.

I just wrote that title and realized that that is part of a song lol.

But yes. I was walking the other day and saw this tree and saw what appeared to be a heart hidden in the hues of the tree. So of course I took a photo. But it made me wonder. Where can one find love? Where is the love? 

I have realized that love is every where. You can find it when you aren’t looking. Many people search and search… but yet they can’t find it. Maybe they are just not looking. If you look too hard… you may very well just miss what you looking for. But at the same time… maybe they don’t know what love actually looks like. We all have our own view of what love is… so maybe what we were taught to be love or shown to be love… really isn’t love. Hmmmmm.

When our eyes are open… guess what… it just pops out at us. 

Many things open our eyes. One minute we have no clue… then blam!

Well enough from me for now.

WOW!

Coming on to the end of my 2nd year at school here in Jamaica and just when I thought this year couldn’t throw any more curve balls. Imagine that I only have about 2 weeks left here before I go home…. then out of no where… in comes a fast, twisting ball. LOL. Why did I just laugh? sigh. I guess it’s either I laugh or cry. You know that feeling when things happen and you are there watching as they unfold and you are thinking to yourself that this can’t be the case? LOL That’s me right now lol.

It’s like a movie.

Ever wished you could turn back the hands of time? hmmm. That would be welcomed right about now. 2 years later and I can only manage to hurt the only person I love. Never got it right then. I am not as stupid as I know I am. I know what I just said. But I am not. I know I messed up and hurt her a lot. She deserves much better. Maybe she will be better off without me. I don’t think so…. but at least she wouldn’t have to put up with me. I bring too much hurt and pain. I make decisions and I live with the consequences. I’ll have to understand that and live with these ones.

But that hit me just now but that’s not why I starting writing this post. On my hall of about 800 students… only 3 of us are in my department, a guy and a girl and I. The girl told me today that we aren’t even friends cause we haven’t hung out or anything that she considers that friends do. Even though that we walk to and from class together and talk. *shrug*.

Well this morning after hanging last week Wednesday and a couple times since then… we apparently are now friends today May 7th, 2017. LOOOL. It’s quite hilarious too. Turns out she’s a lot different that what I thought she was. She’s crazy. CRAZY! lol lol So she was right…. we really weren’t friends cause I knew nothing about her and vice versa. But hey… we friends now… I mentioned this cause we have known each other for 2 years and been in the same classes for the same period and living on the same hall and we knew very little.

Well the year is soon over…. soon time to fly back home. I was. I am. I was. I’m not sure… I AM looking forward to going back home. This year has been extremely eventful.

I need a break. We all need a break.

WOW!

*exhales*

It’ll all be worth it in the end. right?

Back to studying for me… maybe tomorrow will be brighter… if it isn’t… it’ll be one day closer to that trip to the airport by the grace of God.

 

night.

Woman

Posted: April 14, 2015 in Life Stories, Poems
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Whoaaa, man!
See she there,
She ah beauty.
She woman.
Beauty nah only skin deep;
She delicate emotionally.
Take ya time wid ‘er.
If you ah be rough,
She ah go show you she be tough.
When she hurt;
You ah go know.
Please cause her no woe man!
Her heart ah care for ‘er love ones.
When she loves,
She loves with ‘er whole heart.
She loves with ‘er whole being.
Being who she is
She knows no other way tuh love.
She ah deserve de best;
So tek yar time.
Treat ‘er wid respect.
Mek she know yuh love and cherish she.
She ah go put you first.
So mek sure she numbuh 1.
Woman be loyal tuh ah fault,
And love yuh to de flaw.
So tek de best of you;
And leave de rest.
Lift ‘er up
And she ah go support ya.
So again I tell ya..
Whoaaa, man!
Please cause ‘er no woe man!
What you have is ah gem;
You have woman.

Stand

Posted: March 21, 2015 in Life Stories, Poems
Tags: , , , , , ,

Alone in a crowded room she stood.
She stood up.
She stood out.
She stood firm.
With a broad smile dashed across her face;
She just stood.
I looked at her and I pondered;
Moments passed and I just wondered,
Why was she glowing the way she was?
What made her so elated?
It almost seemed as though she won… something.
Something was causing her to burst with happiness.
It was all over her face.
Clearly originating from a place…
Deep inside of her.
There she was standing.
I was barely comprehending;
Why?
All those around her blurred;
My focus was on her…
For as long as my attention could span.
But just before I was lost,
She opened her mouth
And she spoke.
She said

“I am happy”

I laughed to myself;
I already knew this.
But why are you happy?

“I met a man!
Not just any man.
I met Jesus;
And He died for me.
He loved me before I knew myself.
He loved me when I was lost in the world.
Now I stand,
Declaring to all here
That I stand because I have chosen
To follow My Jesus.”

Then I understood.
So then I too stood.
It was no longer just her
But now two;
Alone in a crowded room.

The Way In

Posted: October 29, 2014 in Poems
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I am trying to find my way.
I am looking for a way out.

Ever lasting life.
Ever wondered the way there?
Ever thought about it?
God did.
He thought about it for us.
He made a way for us.
He sent His son for us.
His son, our friend, our brother,
Christ Jesus.
Jesus declares “I am the way,
the truth, and the life”
What a truth.
He is the source of all life.
So follow Him.
Christ will lead the way.
The way in is simple.
Let ourselves out.
Out with selfishness.
Out with hatred.
Out with greed.
Out with pride.
Out with us,
And
Let Him in.
Emptying ourselves will leave room to be filled.
Jesus declares
“Bless are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness,
For they shall be filled.”
Fill us O God.
Fill us with Your love.
Fill us with You.