No One Here

Posted: May 2, 2017 in Life Stories, Poems
Tags: , , , , , ,
No one here respects my time
Until they need me to be early
They'd rather just waste it
It's not that important, clearly

No one here respects my talent
Until they need some favour
They'd rather find someone else
Then check me in the last hour

No one here respects my opinion
Until something I said happens
They'd rather just ignore me
Because I chat far too often

No one here cares enough
Until everything falls to pieces
They'd rather avoid the problems
And hope the issue ceases

No one here...
No... you have to care.
One... person is all it takes.
Here... is your chance to make your stand.

Some... one... here.

I have a problem.

My problem is that I speak too much.

Always having the desire to add something to something said, the need to give input, the urge to give advice.

To what end? Why do I always want to speak? Can I not just see a situation or something happening and just leave it?

Years ago I saw a quote… “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” – Edmund Burke.

It was since seeing this quote that I told myself that if I can influence a positive change I will not just sit back and say nothing. I knew that doing this will definitely NOT make me popular but it will have a positive impact somehow.

What I found over the last 2 years while at school, is that having something to say too often, means that persons will eventually get tired of hearing you.

So I find myself in a dilemma, where I have information that will benefit others but persons are now no longer listening because it is coming from me.

It has gotten to the point where persons undermine what I do and say, so now I’m just here forced to sit back and observe. That’s pretty much all I can do now. I still care about the things I speak out about, however, because of those around me, I’m beginning to wonder if it is all worth it.

I jokingly tell my friends that I’m just miserable and maybe I am. But I miserable because persons don’t listen not because the information is worthless but because it’s coming from me.

Can’t persons take the information and ignore the sender? It got to a point that I had to use persons to deliver my messages so as to have the information acknowledged. No one has to know it came from me. I really could not care less. The thing about it all is that I’m accused of being “petty”, what ever that means because they have been using it far out of context, and apparently I’ve been all in my feelings. Sorry for being human and feeling hurt; forgot men shouldn’t hurt. *rolls eyes* Seriously though, I should shut up. *chuckle* What would make me shut up? I mean, all of this should make me not want to say anything ever again… but then I remember the quote.

Then my friends tell me I should not let this consume me and I should choose my battles wisely. I do agree. But maybe this is a battle I want to fight. To what end though? I’m out of here in one year, God willing.

A part of me wants the things I’ve been trying to say to avoid stuff from happen to just happen… maybe I would get some satisfaction. But then again… to what end? As miserable as I am, I still care. I care about people that I know don’t care about me. I can’t bring myself to hate anyone even when persons are deliberately being disgusting to me for no reason. Which I find is silly still. *whispers* Because the same people who are being disgusting are just kids and they hide and do it.

I am about 7 years older than every here, hence I’ve experienced maybe a bit more, however I can guarantee that I have never experienced something like this. I was wronged and betrayed, I stepped back because I would rather not with the unnecessary confrontations and any drama then to have it all back fired on me by the same person who betrayed me in the beginning. The irony. I am to blame still. I sat by and allowed it all to play out the way it did. In retrospect, maybe I would have done it differently, but hey.

This year has been one eventful year. I must say. Well well well. I would never have guessed it.

I am here laying in bed about to sleep and as I was reflecting, my need to chat is what drove me to write this. All, as I realized alot of what happened was influenced heavily by my need to chat, to speak, to have a say.

Well here’s my final say… things will always happen and some times not like we will expect but that quote is still very much true…. I’ll continue speaking… my voice won’t be muted… I’ll just find another medium.

My problem isn’t that I just chat too much… my problem is actually that I chat too much and no body hears… so now I’m going to chat that everyone HAS TO LISTEN.

Back in July 2013, I hiked to the top of the volcano, La Soufrière, in St. Vincent standing at just 1,234 m.

Then in October 2015 & again in the same month in 2016, I hiked 2,256 m to the peak of the Blue Mountains in Jamaica.

These heights are both still quite small compared to that of Mount Everest, 8,848 m, which is the highest peak on earth. So here are a few questions. What does this have to do with anything? Who cares how high I’ve hiked? What difference does it make if I’ve hiked to the top of a 500 m hill or a mountain standing a whopping 7,000 m?

Well the answers to those questions are quite simple. This has everything to do with my life. I am the one who should care. It does not make a difference if the peak was 500 m or 7,000 m, as long as I made it through to the top.

La Soufrière and Blue Mountain were both physical feats for me. Small for some and mammoth for others. Regardless of what they mean for others I’ll share with you what it was for me.

In life we will face many obstacles and our own forms of mountains and they will all seem to come in our way preventing us from reaching our destination. But does a mountain really stop us from reaching or does it challenge us to do more than we had planned/expected? Mountains force us to go forward and to go up while maneuvering a rough terrain.

I believe our mountains are there to teach us lessons we need to learn for the journey ahead. I heard a really interesting twist on mountains the other day when watching a video on Youtube (can’t remember the video). The person in the video said that mountains will never be smooth because no one can climb a smooth mountain. I thought about it and it is true. If mountains were not rough, where would I place my foot to step up? Nowhere. I thought back to the times I hiked and there were parts of the trail that were smooth and sloping and I had to depend on the rough areas to get a grip to pass those parts.

The irony. While climbing my mountain and I come to smooth parts on my way up, I had to look for and depend on the rough parts to pass safely through. That made it clear for me to see that the rough parts are indeed important and needed to make it through. If we aren’t challenged to grow or to trust the process, will we make it through to the end?

Each time I hiked it was a new lesson for me. The first time in St. Vincent; it got colder as I went up and some parts seemed scary but I knew it would have been worth it to make it to the top and through it all I prayed and trusted the Lord to take me to the top safely, and He did. Blue Mountain took a lot more out of me to make it. The first time was the worse of the two, as I didn’t know how far till I reached the cabins, and then I didn’t know how far till I reached the peak. Not knowing, reminded me that in life as we get in a situation, we may not know how we’ll get through, how long it will take to make it, or what it would be like at the end. Trust that the hike up Blue Mountain was indeed a physical challenge; but one in which I made it through by the grace of God and trust in Him.

The real eye opener for me was the second time I hiked Blue Mountain in 2016. It was by far easier; it still ached my body after, but it was less stressful mentally. Why was it easier the 2nd time around? Was it that I had to walk a shorter distance or that the mountain somehow got shorter? Nope. None of those. It was because after making it through the first time, I kind of knew what to expect. I knew some of the answers to the questions I wondered about while hiking the first time. Now I had knowledge I didn’t have the first time. The first trip shaped me up for the 2nd.

So in life, when you are faced of a mountain of your own, trust God and depend on Him. Remember that it would be rough but He allows that for our safety, and for us to make it through how He wants us to. He never promised the road would be easy, but He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. Once you make it through, when you have to face a similar mountain, just recall that He was willing and able to take you through it before. And trust and believe He is still there to do the same again.

As we start any journey and we come to an obstacle, in this case a mountain, and we see the peak all the way up there, remember that the road will be rough but once you hold onto God you will make it to that peak. It is only at that point that you can look and see the beauty all around and where you have come from. You get a small taste seeing the beginning and the end. And that is just one obstacle. God can see the beginning and the end for us all. The 2nd time up Blue Mountain, I trusted in God to take me there safely. I was also able to trust the little knowledge I had of the journey from the first trip.

So here’s a couple questions for you… How much more can you trust the one who has all knowledge of every journey for all time? Will you trust the process and trust the one with the plan and the road map?

My mountains led me to a better understanding of my journey and life.

My mountains led me to trust in God a little more.

My God knows what’s best for me.

My mountains led me closer to Him.

I am thankful for my mountains.

 

BRB as I go hiking again. What will this mountain teach me?

Gallery  —  Posted: April 25, 2017 in Photos

My Father

Posted: May 7, 2016 in Life Stories, Poems

Is it fair for you to stare at me?

When somewhere in my mind I fear

That you are not clear as to who I am

And frankly, you do not care.

I do not swear, but I am almost certain

There are things you would change about me

You would tell me what to wear, if you could.

But as I sit here in this chair and type

I breathe a breath of fresh air

I pause

As you glare over at me

Wondering if you could spare me the look of disgust

I dare you to take a moment

Let me share, with you, a little about me

My Father and I; a pair like no other

Very rare I see His plans for my life

Many times I falter and He takes be back to square one

To start again with a clean slate

It is not just me, but they’re others

So here is my prayer that you will see

My Father will bear all for you

As He already has for me.

 

 

Stop!

Take a look at me.

What do you see?

You can see my clothing; t-shirt and shorts

You can see my skin colour; black

You can see my gender; male

You can see my hair and eyes; dark brown

But what about the things you can’t see?

Can you see all the mistakes I’ve made?

Can you see the people I’ve hurt?

Can you see the places I’ve been?

Can you see the places I’ve worked?

Some things are not so obvious

Some things I will have to share

Some things will always be hidden

Even if I were standing here bare.

But, back to what you can see though

Can you see that I am happy?

Can you see I am sorry?

Can you see that I have forgiven?

Can you seen that I have grown?

Can you see that I’ve sinned?

Can you see I’ve fallen short?

Can you see I have been trying?

It has been challenging from the start.

I am all these things you see and more;

I am a child of God.

I am a son of a Great King.

So,

I am a lot of things

Both good and bad

So next time you see my face

Remember I’m only a sinner

Showered in mercy and saved by Grace.

Woman

Posted: April 14, 2015 in Life Stories, Poems
Tags: , , ,

Whoaaa, man!
See she there,
She ah beauty.
She woman.
Beauty nah only skin deep;
She delicate emotionally.
Take ya time wid ‘er.
If you ah be rough,
She ah go show you she be tough.
When she hurt;
You ah go know.
Please cause her no woe man!
Her heart ah care for ‘er love ones.
When she loves,
She loves with ‘er whole heart.
She loves with ‘er whole being.
Being who she is
She knows no other way tuh love.
She ah deserve de best;
So tek yar time.
Treat ‘er wid respect.
Mek she know yuh love and cherish she.
She ah go put you first.
So mek sure she numbuh 1.
Woman be loyal tuh ah fault,
And love yuh to de flaw.
So tek de best of you;
And leave de rest.
Lift ‘er up
And she ah go support ya.
So again I tell ya..
Whoaaa, man!
Please cause ‘er no woe man!
What you have is ah gem;
You have woman.